I have this theory that we bounce back and forth between opposites when dating people until we land on someone situated in our sweet spot.

In this very comforting theory, each person is a little closer to what we’re looking for, hopefully, so that we’re ever moving toward what works for us.

It isn’t always something extreme, either—say you date someone very “safe” for a while. The next person you date might be a bit more of a risk. Then you bounce back to “safe”—but less so, this time. But that person is way too into video games. So then you date someone who’s never touched a controller in their life. But that someone also never wants to hang out with your family, and that’s a problem. So then you date someone who plays video games some but not all of the time, is sort of a nice mix of safe/risk, and who loves your family. Maybe more than you do. So then…

Here, I drew you a diagram. A love diagram.

Love Diagram
Disclaimer: This diagram is not one-size-fits-all, nor is it drawn to scale. I am not a licensed cardiologist. But I am an unlicensed one.