The lodge is beautiful. It is. The beds are works of art. They’re wrought iron and require climbing to get into. They’re piled with pillows that stretch down to the foot of the bed, giant downy pillows that set off my allergies and make it near impossible to breathe. No one could resist these beds after a day of skiing or hard ranch work of rustling cattle playing shuffleboard and sitting in the hot tubs. Much less a champion sleeper like me.

My parents booked a corner suite, which really consists of two rooms. There’s an outer door that closes both off from the main lodge hallway, creating a little nook of an entryway. My sister and brother-in-law are in one room. Then the suite part of the suite is a living room, master bedroom with a porch, a beautiful rock-lined gas fireplace, two bathrooms, and a loft. I’m in the loft.

I love lofts. I love having the slant of a ceiling close above my head. I love climbing stairs to get to bed. I grew up in a room with a slanted ceiling, pretending I was Sara Crewe in A Little Princess.

You know what lofts are? Lofts are hot.

Lofts are especially hot when the master bedroom on the main floor is cold because it’s lined with windows overlooking the ranch, so someone in the family cranks the heat. And having a fire is nice, so let’s turn on the fire. And it’ll get cold at night, so we’ll just turn the heat down a little instead of off. And when someone in the family gets up at 6 am, it’s a little chilly downstairs, so we’ll just turn the fire back on. And when both my parents get up by 8 am, they’ll very considerately whisper instead of talking in normal voices so they won’t wake me up. They’ll whisper about how they’re whispering. They’ll whisper about how they should take their shoes off so they won’t wake me up. They’ll whisper about when I will get up and whether to wake me up for breakfast. They’ll whisper about how they hope I’m sleeping well in the very hot loft.

I’m a champion sleeper, which sometimes means staying in bed stubbornly and pretending to be sleeping even when you’re wide awake.

We discussed the problem of the hot loft at lunch. Extensively. Helpful suggestions included:

  • Opening the window (There are no windows in the loft. The person who suggested this has seen the loft.)
  • Turning the heat off earlier and just using the fireplace, because the fireplace is so nice, after all.
  • Sleeping on the couch.
  • Asking for a cot to sleep next to the couch.
  • Cranking up the heat all day to get the master bedroom warm, then opening the windows in the main room but only if the master bedroom can stay warm with the door closed. Unclear how this will be verified before enactment.
  • Taking the pillows from the big beautiful soft bed and sleeping on the floor in the nook of the entryway outside the two rooms.
  • Standing on the porch for a while before bed.
  • Getting in the pool and standing on the porch in a wet swimsuit for a while before bed so I’ll not only be grateful for the heat but possibly develop fever sweats, which will help keep me cool throughout the night.
  • Sleeping on the porch.

We discussed the problem of the noise in the loft after dinner. Helpful suggestions included:

  • Not listening.
  • Being less nosy.
  • Going into my parents’ bedroom while they’re sleeping and talking.