I took a plane to get here. Do you ever eat on planes? Meals are $6. That doesn’t actually seem like that terrible of a deal to me. I like the snack pack. It comes with Tim’s potato chips, which are the best potato chips ever made, and salami and cheese and crackers, I think, and something sweet. I didn’t get it this time because I already had a bag of Tim’s with me. Duh. But I always look at the menu. Always. WHO KNOWS MAYBE THERE’LL BE SOMETHING FANTASTIC. This time there was quiche. If it’d been the breakfast sandwich I would’ve ordered it. Have you ever had a bad breakfast sandwich? Me neither.

I was in the middle seat, which was ok, I survived, except the guy in the aisle slept the whole way and I had to pee like you wouldn’t believe. What do you do? Do you wake him up? I couldn’t stand to. I heard half a cryptic conversation he had on the phone when I sat down and decided someone he’s close to is having severe health problems and he probably needed the rest. I’m still worrying about him.

The guy on my other side looked at fantasy football for 4 hours. I know you can’t really *look at* fantasy football, I know he wasn’t watching a game or anything, but. Fantasy football, his iPad said across the top. For four hours! I watch The League, I think it’s funny, I have no idea what one could look at for four hours having to do with a sporting event that isn’t being played. Women give birth in that amount of time. People run marathons in half that.

I mean, not me, obviously, I’m still trying to run two miles consecutively, but that’s because running is like dying.

I read a John Grisham novel. I like them for the plane because they’re absorbing. And long. And I can leave them when I’m done instead of hauling them around. Plus I feel like I’m learning something. Continuance! Jurisdiction! Malfeasance! Annuity! Probably could take the LSAT tomorrow and ace it recognize some words.

I know, I know, I’m in New York and I’m talking about the plane ride! Well, gimme a minute. I’m jetlegged and I’ve already eaten tapas in a cheese shop and listened to a choir in Soho and been to Brooklyn and back and had a croissant and am looking at the Empire State Building out a window. Should I go up it? I don’t know, I didn’t even go up the Eiffel Tower when I was in Paris. There was a line. I took a nap under it instead.

The croissant was the highlight.

Really, you can’t take me anywhere.