Hot server: Are you sure you don’t want to put that piece of bacon in your pocket for later?
Me: No, I’m not sure. That’s a great idea.
Hot server: Then you’d have it. And if you met a dog or something, then that would be the greatest thing ever.
Me: But then the dog would want it, and I’d have to fight him for it.
Five minutes later…
Friend: Remember when that hot server asked if you wanted to put bacon in your pants?
Me: That was the hottest thing anyone’s ever said to me.
Friend: I wish I hadn’t finished my bacon. Then he could have said it to me.
Me: I definitely should have left him my phone number. Also I really do wish I had that piece of bacon right now.